What valuable achievements one can have! Such an achievement is certainly not easy, especially when there are children around. Understanding how important affection is in a relationship is a necessary first step for those interested in rekindling love. Perhaps your know of a similar occurrence. She should advise him and remind him of the grim consequences of his deeds. The family atmosphere changes into an environment of pessimism, suspicion, and enmity. Her husband may also show his displeasure towards her cooking. I have to do all the work myself because you are not here to help. "Imam Ali (a.s) stated: 'Whoever leaves his eyes at liberty, will always suffer through his nerves, and will be trapped in a permanent state of envy'."46. Enemies always endorse your claims and might even add a few lies to it in order to shatter your life. She said: 'I’m used to compare my husband's face with other men and I regretted my marriage with him'." It is therefore better to reduce your consumption of these substances. But do not despair; there is still time. This is because despite his innocence, he might have deliberately not been telling the whole truth lest you become more suspicious. They can engage in drawing, painting, tailoring, knitting, sewing, and so forth. Everyone spends his spare time in one way or another. For instance the wife may say: "You have left me with these damned kids and rushed off. Wash them as soon as possible. I am now certain that my husband is unfaithful to me. When the couple went home, the wife could still smell his bad breath so she went into another room. “Aaaah, I was searching for you.” “What happened? Is it not pitiful that a sacred marital covenant should be broken because a woman is not prepared to forgive some mistakes of her husband? This is a component of our societies. live-in relationships in five distinct ways- A domestic cohabitation between an adult unmarried male and an adult unmarried female 121, "The Prophet of Allah (S) stated: 'Associating with friends causes kindness (amongst them)'." Every place has its own merits. They go into a fit. What have they got that you haven't? Besides one does not need to boil it, pasteurize it, or sterilize it. Some patients have rheumatism and some have cancer. On the other hand, the children would suffer and would not be able to enjoy a healthy life. He has had a good time with his friends and is happy with his wife for not letting him down. On Thursday, a day before the party, they finish some of the work such as cutting onions, washing the potatoes, filling the salt and pepper shakers, preparing the table wares and so on. Even though Islam has firmly prohibited us from such deeds we are not prepared to give them up. It is the hope of every man and woman to find a spouse who is perfect but such hopes are unrealistic. Fifth: The woman in the family assumes this function. Whoever disowns his relatives will lose many helping hands. Speak to them nicely in order that their deeds become good'. Be frank with him and ask him to explain the subject of your suspicion in order to clear your mind and set it at peace. "19, "The Holy Prophet (S) stated: 'A wife is duty-bound to arrange for a basin and towel to wash her husband's hands'."20. Cook the food he likes, and which is good for him. Women usually think that remaining silent, when coming face to face with their husband's anger, would belittle them, and that they would lose their respect. They can read books, conduct research on something useful, and add to their knowledge and skills. You can be an angel of mercy whereby your husband and children can find peace through you. (b) Since, through his studies and research, he has conformed with the laws of creation, he would be less prone to mental and nervous disorders. Fortunately, there are many books, which have been written on this subject by learned writers and scholars. She is not prepared to change and even asks me to divorce her, and marry a maid instead! So use every taking and blend it to the form of giving. Your husband needs to have a job to earn his family's living. But one should know that teaching a child different subjects such as appropriate stories, poems, Qur'an, traditions of the Prophet (S), and the Imams (a.s) does not educate them. This act has several benefits: (a) Through the repetition of this act, your husband will become a learned person who would be a credit to you and himself. This was because the woman had fulfilled the empty place of his mother in his heart through her kindness.14. Submissive duties can be placed in two general categories: Domestic and sexual duties. She should pursue her goal with greater strength and patience. Brushing one's teeth is essential, at least, once a day, preferably before sleeping at night. If possible one should brush one's teeth after every meal. There are many women who have been writing great books or have had many achievements in scientific fields. A marriage without a child is like a fruitless tree. They become encouraged to invite their friends over and over again. Women who are used to this manner of speaking, as a matter of fact, do not think of the grave consequences which might follow. Whatever lessons they learn now, they will practice in future societies. The Prophet of Allah (S) stated: 'When a woman becomes pregnant, Allah rewards her as much as He would to someone who goes for Jihad (holy war) with all his wealth and life. Therefore, if a woman is interested in knowing her husband's secrets, she must be very careful not to speak of them anywhere without his permission. You can be helpful towards your husband's progress. The married couple must be left to plan their own affairs and if they encounter any difficulty, they should overcome it through their own initiative. 116. If there are not any proper roads, then you will not be inhaling toxic exhaust fumes and you will be away from all the noise of people and cars. Thus, mothers who feed their babies with their own milk must remember that all the necessary nutrition for their babies are contained within that milk. The ornaments must be put in their proper locations. In her husband's house, a woman should give priority to her husband's needs. Image Source: huffingtonpost This is the first aspect women should look for in a man, for if a man cannot respect a woman, he just does not qualify. If your husband is a driver, a doctor, a worker, or a scientist etc, then you must be proud of him. 145. "A man left some money with his wife and asked her to leave it in a safe place..., and then put it on the mantle piece and left the house. The mother of the boy angrily went up to him, lifted him up, and then threw him on the ground so hard that it killed the boy outright. It is a pity that some women are ignorant and obstinate in their ignorance. In short, they can win their husband's hearts and establish themselves in their families. Such jobs are agreeable to the female nature; and also, there would rarely, if at all, be the need for them to mix with or come across the men who are not mahram (near relatives with whom marriage is prohibited). Imam Ali (a.s), in one sentence, introduced the best woman in Islam and expressed the main purpose of marriage. When these working women come home, they are just as tired as you, if not more, because those heels show their feet no mercy. She might end up so frustrated that she might kill herself. But it was too late, because six hours after our divorce, my former husband was engaged to my cousin. 'The Holy Prophet (S) stated: 'There is no good in her and she is an inhabitant of hell'."33. Hospitals are also suitable places where women can serve as nurses and doctors. Living with Husband. Do not hide anything from her. Upon finding a strand of hair in his car, she thinks there is another woman in his life. 144, "Imam Baqir (a.s) stated: 'Choose noble women to feed (your children) with their milk, because the base qualities of milk are passed from the feeding woman to the child'." "Imam as-Sadiq (a.s.) stated: 'The Almighty Allah hates too much sleep and too much rest'." One can become depressed and frustrated from being idle. "32, "There is a tradition reported that the Holy Prophet (S) was informed of a good woman who fasted everyday and worshipped Allah every night, but she had an ill-disposed character and would hurt her neighbours with her sharp tongue. Leave all the cutlery in one place and place the dishes somewhere else. The winter clothes must be separate from summer ones. Do not leave food exposed to flies, because flies are carriers of many dangerous microbes. Do not keep the garbage in front of your house. Must you withhold your wealth in preference to your husband's health? This type of attitude is avoided by most people whereby the person ends up with very few friends, these are then the conditions which are susceptible to various psychological problems, and other illnesses due to the anxiety and emptiness with which the person with a bad attitude views life. If you get bored, then you can do some of the housework, sewing and reading at night. If you want to enjoy a pleasant life with your husband and children, make your attitude and disposition pleasant and agreeable. We got divorced and I rented a flat. Every thing must be put in its proper place so that all the family members are able to find them, even in the dark. (4:34).". I do not know what such women want to achieve by their grumbling. You can judge for yourself. One of the important duties of women is caring for their children. Perhaps none of them intended to fall in the trap or become corrupt, but through their own simplicity, ignorance, and unthoughtfulness, they are now preyed upon by the corrupt in society. Therefore, dear lady! Also she was unable to attend to the guests properly. 29. Not only can friendships become stronger, but it would serve to boost one's morale. The Prophet (S) of Islam and all of the Imams (a.s) have laid great emphasis on the institution of marriage. She should even cry and beg him to give up his bad companions. The results of exercising such behavior are miraculous. Women have great power and influence over men. Do not be selfish and ignorant; be wise and do not cause your husband any distress. The problem is clear. Be satisfied with his merits. "The Prophet of Allah (S) stated: 'A bad woman does not forgive her husband's mistake and does not accept his apology'."49. Some mothers have not yet realized that they should leave their daughters to reach an understanding with their husbands of their own. He said joyfully: 'If she had wanted and had asked for all my wealth and even my medical degree, I would have given it to get rid of her sooner',"25. Discipline is following the ideal rules of conduct and duties that I mentioned can only be fulfilled through ones self moral code of conduct. Here are seven roles of a wife according to the Bible. Such women with these thoughts and inconclusive proof gradually assume certainty regarding their husbands' unfaithfulness. These kids don't help at all in the house-work. "Imam Ali (a.s) stated: 'There is no better and more copious food than mother's milk for a baby'." What is a woman? Then try to be on time. It is true that this way of life is unusual and seems difficult, but if the women in question ponder over the importance of their husbands' jobs, they can decide to overcome the problem through good planning, devotion, and wisdom. Since milk contains ingredients which are suitable for the baby's digestive system, therefore, there are not any problems in feeding a baby with mother's milk. She suspects him of having an affair with his secretary or another woman. Whoever visits it, appreciates it, and admire the woman's talent and good taste. Due to a squint in my left eye, she used to call me a "blind ass". You should either change your job or settle with me. He may insult you, abuse you, tell lies, he might even hit you. A woman of suspicion imagines that her husband is, lawfully or unlawfully, disloyal to her. Gradually, my husband became disappointed with me and thought of divorcing me and remarrying. It prevents many illnesses and attracts the family members to the house. Dear Madam! Again it is better to go to him and ask why he did not tell the whole truth. Consequently, he has to cope with both sides and keep them satisfied which, itself, is a difficult task. Women in this situation have to have two programs, one for themselves and one for their husbands. 142, "Dr A. H. Taba, the former Head of the Eastern Mediterranean Region of the World Health Organization said: 'One of the important factors, which makes a child susceptible to many illnesses is by depriving him or her of mother's milk which is the only life insurance of any person.'' They try, directly and indirectly, to interfere in their family affairs. 91, 'The Prophet of Allah (S) stated: 'Forgiveness and tolerance would increase the honour and respect of their owners. Try not to overwhelm him with criticizing him the minute you see him. Answer the door and the telephone when it rings. 141. If through reading, you come across an article which is useful for your husband, then inform him of it. I was in the house.” “No,no,no I was going to go out. 100, "The Prophet of Allah (S) also stated: 'One's clothes must always be clean'." Do not reject his participation even in those matters that you have more expertise. She would taste the wrath of Allah on the Day of Resurrection'."34. Through your help, he would become prestigious and you would share his social status. He may become disheartened about the welfare of the family. There are many children who die as the result of their parents' carelessness. 126, "The Prophet of Allah (S) also stated: 'The best of your women is one who spends less' 127. What a psychiatrist could give the amount of care that you would give? It is not an easy undertaking. Thirdly, you may be innocent of the subject of her suspicion, but the suspicions of women are mostly not baseless either. First: Luxury goods and vying with one another has made life difficult for many of us. The situation becomes even worse if they all live in the same house. Be His Friend. Wash his face and hands often. One must try to acquire perfection in one's own lifetime. When I went to pick her up that night she refused to come with me. Everyone, in any job at any age and in any condition is able to progress and mature. Some men like to have certain hobbies at home. The poor daughter, who regards her mother as sympathetic and experienced, obeys her and commits herself to the mother's desires too. The following stories, illustrate some of these points: "A twenty-two year old man, stabbed his 19-year old wife to death after he was abused by her. I regretted my divorce, but it was too late'." If you shirk your responsibility, you would be questioned in the world Hereafter. I would like to explain to you this problem; because to begin with, every male is uncontinuous. But you should remember that other men may have other defects which are non-existent in yours. To answer that question we need to start in the beginning, at the creation of Adam and Eve. Moreover, many mothers do not enjoy a proper education and wisdom. A woman can be helpful in her husband's progress as much as she could be detrimental to it. They may want to pretend that they are sympathetic. A housewife goes through the trouble of making food for a few guests over a period of a few hours. So do what you like!". Be careful not to use leftover or sour milk. "7, "One person went to the Prophet (S) and said: 'I have a wife who always welcomes me when I come home, and escorts me to the door when I leave. Disobedience to one's husband may harm one's marital relationship and vice-versa. Being the nurse. Is it possible for any pious person to earn his living lawfully, observing all religious aspects, paying statutory religious alms to avoid extravagance, and to spend on charitable deeds without the consent of his wife? The women are expected to classify the necessities and spend on the priorities such as food, clothes, medicine, rent, electricity, telephone, gas and water bills. Do not grumble and do not tell him bad because of his job. She has even been sitting in the courtyard of the school unprepared to go back home.' You do not know what rude and obnoxious people he has had to deal with all the day. One goes through many difficult times. Housekeeping, childcare, etc are the best and the easiest jobs that women can do. She has to do the cooking, washing, sweeping, dusting, arranging the guestroom, and so on. Such an attitude will only lead to more anger and rows which may result in divorce. One should not be so chaotic that it becomes impossible to live a normal life, and also one should not overindulge in cleanliness to the extent that it becomes an obsession. In the police station the woman said that, after three years of marriage, she gradually felt that she did not love her husband. 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